Daniel B. Silver

STARE


 

The glittering lights beam on the Las Vegas Strip
They are justOne day, I’ll see you socially
Some chance meeting, briefly
And you’ll look right past or through me
Voluntarily declining to feel or see
The flooding cascade of memories

In a public place, I’ll no doubt cast
A shadow across your porcelain face
And that man on your arm will be taken aback
He’ll pull you closer to protect
He won’t know what’s wrong, and you won’t say
Until some later, distant day

And thereafter my sight will in you boil
Until tears cascade on fertile soil
He’ll ask once more what’s got you down
He’ll see you ache, and try to drown
The sorrow I left; the love you lost
To melt the parts I forged with frost

Eventually, you’ll tell him all about us
You’ll cry and laugh, prostrate and curse
And somewhere my ears will no doubt burn
Somewhere my stomach will start to turn

Because though I know that I am the cause
Like he I long to give you pause
To solace make; to safety give
To passion drip; to fantasy bridge

Yet it’s not lost upon me
How he’s with you and I’m not he
So I’ll just say again that I apologize
Please don’t cry – dry your eyes
I’ve done my best to disappear
All the while longing to have you near

And I know that’s far from just or fair
That all I can do is try not to stare
To keep myself outside castle’s gate
To spare the tumult of my broken faith
But like the steel hull of a prideful ship
Don’t think for a second that I can’t sink

One day, I’ll see you socially
And like a cold wind right through me
I’ll inspire no painful memory
For your lovelorn eyes will refuse to see
And I’ll walk right by in protest
Just begging you to notice