A Good Day to Die

With a wounded heart in my office in a blue suit and tie

I decided it would be a good day to die

But before that live in earnest for a time

Upon the ocean’s gilded brine

Outside the window, the moon shone in daylight

Waiting to show in the stillness of night

I tread out the door and down the hall

To answer the sea’s siren call

Down to the marina I did walk

And shed my shirt upon the dock

Finding a vacant, moored craft

I untied it first at bow, and then aft

None took notice as I drifted out to the bay

And raised the sails without delay

Letting the breeze take me beyond the golden gate

Out to the open water to meet my fate

On day one, I lost site of shore

Planning to head west until I could go no more

The boat chopping down upon white-capped swell

The sky growing cloudy as night fell

That night I ate canned food in the galley

And drank too many sips of scotch to tally

Sleeping on the deck at the base of the helm

Drifting lazily to sleep’s realm

When I awoke it was just past dawn

I decided to sing a well known song

With Amazing Grace, I serenaded the surf

And the creatures below the salty murk

One the second day of solitude

The wind picked up and I quickly moved

Out to the abyss of sea and sky

Chasing the horizon with determined eyes

On the third day the air turned thick and wet

Drops of rain trickled down the mast

And shortly did thunder loudly crack

As Mother Nature began her attack

The swell took the boat from side to side

And I remained on deck though I wished to hide

Down in the quarters so invitingly dry

Rain taking the place of tears I couldn’t cry

A violent night befell me soon

A storm just short of a typhoon

I dropped the main sail and stayed the course

Undeterred by the gale’s force

At three AM, a titanic wave

Took the boat over with its rage

Keel became mast, and mast became anchor

I catapulted into the water, awaiting Poseidon’s rancor

Instinct took over, and water I fiercely tread

Though waves crashed violently onto my head

I clung to the overturned boat with white knuckled grip

Searching the dark emptiness for a rescue ship

For it was incredible how shortly it took me to find

Something wonderful with which to remind

That life was still precious despite its toil

That I longed to once again walk on soil

And as the storm raged on until the sun chased it away

I held death’s scythe at tenuous bay

Ducking and dodging, refusing to yield

When suddenly appeared a curious seal

Poking his head out of water too cold

He presented to me his back to hold

I embraced him as he kept my tired body afloat

In the middle of the ocean, in a location remote

On the fourth day the storm left as it came

Where once there was turmoil, only peace remained

My mammal friend swam me to a location unknown

But soon in the distance an island shown

To the shore he carried me like a child in tow

Risking the gaze of predators below

In a few hours he deposited me onto the beach

And with a bark he swam off back into the deep

I staggered up onto the warm island sand

And explored an unfamiliar, tropical land

Walking down the beach I soon heard a sound

Music it seemed; my God, I was found

I approached the source of the out of place noise

Came around a clearing and welled with surprise

A resort, a hotel, a bar, staff and pool

What was this place? Were my eyes fooled?

A man with brown skin approached and he said

“Hola, Senor. Welcome to Club Med.”

I looked past him to the vacationers that lay

Out in the sun, and in the pool played

I could think of no retort, other than to say

“Sir, I have had the strangest of days!”

He smiled knowingly, and with a smile said,

“We’ve been waiting for you. I’m afraid you are dead.”

Then he added before I could think to ask,

“I’m afraid you can never, ever go back.”

“You see, you built this place with your living mind.”

“Here there is no past, no future, and no time.”

“Long ago you once dreamed of going out to sea.”

“To find God, but God is not yours to see.”

“For you never left your office, and never took that ship.”

“You died in your chair. You never took that trip.”

He assured me that this was not all a dream

No matter how surreal all of it seemed

“These people behind me, this is their heaven too.”

“It doesn’t exist only for you.”

“Come with me and I’ll show you to your room.”

“This is a wonderful place; you’ll realize that soon.”

He turned to walk, gesturing for me to follow

But I moved away, and ran into the shallows

Charging out to sea, I let my tired body swim

Away from the shore into the brine again

Behind me, I could hear the man yell,

“That way leads to damnation! That way leads to hell!”

I swam for hours until the island behind me was small

Crawling ever out across the rocking swell

Soon I grew so tired I could no longer stay afloat

And thought of my night alone on the deck of the boat

I resigned myself to my inescapable fate

Letting go of my rage, my sorrow and my hate

My body submerged as I sank down below

My spirit tied to it, my soul in tow

My chest began to burn, but I did not dare fight

Embracing the inevitability of my certain plight

Steeled by faith that though horrifying and scary

I was going to at least escape such an obvious purgatory

Suddenly a shock like a lightning strike

The seal streaked towards me and barked me awake!

My chest sizzled with electric pain

“Sir!” a paramedic cried out, “can you tell me your name?”

Yanked out of my dreamlike, drowning state

Like a line of thoroughbreds charging out of the gates

Soon I was laying in the ER

A tube in my mouth and IVs in my arms

On the first day I did my best to comprehend

What I had just been through with my seal friend

The nurses and doctors buzzed around

My mind in the DMZ between lost and found

On the second day I felt no better still

Though the professionals told me I wasn’t quite as ill

No appetite, no thirst and no desire to heal

No feeling of purpose; for my life, no zeal

On the third day my ex-wife stepped into the room

And she spoke of the day when we were bride and groom

She read me a story, and stayed for a while

And did her best to force out a smile

Later that night, in my empty hospital suite

With the TV on, and lights off, my heart skipped a beat

Soon the heart monitor began to alarm

And a cold burn spread from my chest to left arm

I slipped slowly that night into oblivion’s grasp

And I’m sure though they tried, I didn’t come back

I sailed up through the roof, to the sky and stars beyond

Enveloped in warmth; my fear long gone

In a matter of moments, weeks, months or years

I arrived at an island, without pomp or cheers

And the brown-skinned man, appeared again on the beach

My seal friend with him, to the left of his feet

He smiled as he said, “I’m sorry to have frightened you.”

“You only need stay here if you think you can make do.”

“This place is simply the heaven you want it to be.”

“These are like-minded souls basking in the shade of these trees.”

He held out his hand, and I took his grasp

And left my life on earth slip into the past

He showed me to my room, and gave me my key

And told me I could be as happy as I wanted to be

At poolside, on an ethereal legal pad, I write these notes

In the water in front of me, the playful seal floats

In the shade of a cabana, surrounded by friends

With god it seems, I have made amends

Sometimes under moonlight, and the gentle island breeze

I walk down the beach, listening to the sea

And sometimes I come upon a new frightened soul

And I tell them, “Fear not, my friend. I’ll see you tomorrow by the pool.”

Daniel Silver